Worth the Fight?

Today as I was sifting through my mail, Jax grabbed a hold of a particular letter and began to chew on it. Nervous that he might bite a piece off and choke on it I took it away from him. He looked at me, squinted his little face, and began to wail. A little startled, because he had never done this before, I gave him back the paper to see if that's what he was upset about. He immediately stopped crying and resumed chewing on it. "Oh, really," I thought. So, I took it away from him again and he began to cry in protest again. This was the first time he has showed a little will and thrown a fit. I'm sure it will not be the last. Not entirely sure how to handle it, I looked at him and said, "Jax, throwing a fit and crying will never give you what you want from us. Now, if you calm down I will give you something else to chew on because that is not good for you." He stopped crying, looked at me (not knowing entirely what I said, but understanding my tone) and sighed in defeat. I gave him another toy and he chewed in perfect contentedness. This is just the beginning... I used to be a teacher and one of the main reasons I quit is because I hate disciplining other people's kids. Now that I have my own, I'm not sure what it will be like, how we'll do it, or what is best. Any good book recommendations out there? When I think of examples with the Lord I have questions. Sometimes, he stones people and sometimes he shows such grace that he asks "he who has not sinned" to cast the first stone. God's discipline is a mystery to me. It is both painful and relieving. It both chafes and heals. It is my enemy and my friend. In Proverbs it says, "He that loves discipline loves knowledge, and he that hates reproof is a fool." I am both a fool and I love to grow. May I learn to ride the rhythms of wisdom in love and discipline, in firmness and grace, in conflict and restoration. Sometimes discipline is the only means to get to a peaceful end. Love is tough and love will fight for what is best even when its hard. As long as we are on this earth there will be trouble (I've heard this somewhere before ;) and when we stop fighting we surrender to the enemy and acquiesce to mediocrity. If we want our children, ourselves, our world to be better we must be willing to face conflict/fear/doubt and accept discipline with humility of heart and strive for what is best and noble and good. I want what is best for Jax, so we will fight and he will know that he is worth the struggle.

Timone and Jax

We have a beautiful, fat, Siamese cat. He is sassy and loud and lives outside since we've had Jax. Its interesting how pets are no longer your children once you have children. They are now pets. We still love them, but our lives' attention has shifted to our little human child. Today I took Jax outside to sit on the porch for a bit. The weather is perfect, the sun is shining, and there is loud Timone rubbing his fat body up against us. (I'm also allergic to him, btw). At first, Jax isn't sure what to do, but as he realizes this new creature is his friend and not his foe he reaches out and grabs Timone's tail. Timone, the slightly freakish cat that he is, LOVES this kind of attention. He is suddenly all about Jax and rubs his body and head all over Jax's hands. Jax continues to grab Timone pulling out fistfulls of hair while Timone purrs all the more (like I said, he's a little freaky cat). They are now buddies :)
Babies have such a gift for inclusion. Everything that is different is new and exciting. They want to learn from it, touch it, eat it, explore it, and be delighted in it. Somewhere along the way we teach them, through either culture or example or I'm not sure, that difference is an obstacle. We take them to church with people like them, they go to school with people like them, they play with people like them and likeness becomes familiarity and safety and comfort. I want to be like a child that embraces difference and appreciates the beauty of something not like me. I want to learn from dissimilar perspectives and eat of the unknown. I want to delight in diversity and find strength in uniqueness. God made so many different species to be explored and to function in our world in harmony. Sin made the differences fearful and ugly. But God is beautiful with all of His colors and variety. He is the master artist and I want to eat of His tree of life with the "healing of the nations" (Revelation) forever.

Lifeproofing

Jax has gotten to the age where he is just about to crawl. He lays on his belly and puts all his extremities in the air like he is flying and scoots. He has also tried leaving his shoulders on the ground and pushing against the ground with his feet usually resulting in a face plant. He has attempted the opposite version where he just lifts his chest off the ground and pulls himself forward. Jax has mastered spinning in a circle on his belly, but no crawling yet. Because he is so close, all the experts say it is time to "babyproof" the house. And the list of how to do this - extensive! It is easily a book. You have to get cupboard and drawer doohickeys to keep Jax out, non-slippery mats for inside the tubs, bumpers for around you furniture with sharp corners and edges (that look really good btw), door fences for certain rooms, all cleaning supplies need to be locked up and out of reach, soft cover bathtub spouts, seal oven door with appliance latch, cover all outlets with protectors, latch the refrigerator shut, install a toilet seat lock, any small object that could be choked on needs to be locked up or out of reach (an amazing amount of things actually), no unedible plants, no classy decorating, no fun, and you must all LIVE IN SEPARATE CAGES! Seriously, I want my baby to be safe, but how much is too much? The claim for all of these are because something happened to some baby and now you need to protect him from the 1 millionth chance of it happening to yours. But, I'll be honest, I worked in a pediatric ICU for two years and out of all the babies in eastern Tennessee and northern GA, there was one patient I had that had a tragic outcome from "accidental" things in the home. Definitely the things like put your cleaning supplies out of reach and cover electrical outlets should be done. Those are common injuries. But what happened to watching your kids and teaching them what is safe and what is not? What happened to letting them get some bumps and scratches as they learn about life? As he gets older the same dangers still exist, but they are outside of my control. He will eventually ride a bike. I will not always be there when he does, all I can do is hope he has learned enough to look both ways and watch for cars. Then, he'll drive. He'll go rock climbing and do things I'll never know about and don't want to! I can't protect him from life and experiments. All I can do is pray for him, love him, do the best I can while he's small and hope he makes good decisions. God does the same with us. He gave us His Word and now He hopes that we will heed the lessons given to protect us from harm and to save us from the mistakes we would make on our own. But He is not overprotective and allows us to learn through the bruises and scrapes of life. What a good free God!