Friday, November 11, 2011

Worth the Fight?

Today as I was sifting through my mail, Jax grabbed a hold of a particular letter and began to chew on it. Nervous that he might bite a piece off and choke on it I took it away from him. He looked at me, squinted his little face, and began to wail. A little startled, because he had never done this before, I gave him back the paper to see if that's what he was upset about. He immediately stopped crying and resumed chewing on it. "Oh, really," I thought. So, I took it away from him again and he began to cry in protest again. This was the first time he has showed a little will and thrown a fit. I'm sure it will not be the last. Not entirely sure how to handle it, I looked at him and said, "Jax, throwing a fit and crying will never give you what you want from us. Now, if you calm down I will give you something else to chew on because that is not good for you." He stopped crying, looked at me (not knowing entirely what I said, but understanding my tone) and sighed in defeat. I gave him another toy and he chewed in perfect contentedness. This is just the beginning... I used to be a teacher and one of the main reasons I quit is because I hate disciplining other people's kids. Now that I have my own, I'm not sure what it will be like, how we'll do it, or what is best. Any good book recommendations out there? When I think of examples with the Lord I have questions. Sometimes, he stones people and sometimes he shows such grace that he asks "he who has not sinned" to cast the first stone. God's discipline is a mystery to me. It is both painful and relieving. It both chafes and heals. It is my enemy and my friend. In Proverbs it says, "He that loves discipline loves knowledge, and he that hates reproof is a fool." I am both a fool and I love to grow. May I learn to ride the rhythms of wisdom in love and discipline, in firmness and grace, in conflict and restoration. Sometimes discipline is the only means to get to a peaceful end. Love is tough and love will fight for what is best even when its hard. As long as we are on this earth there will be trouble (I've heard this somewhere before ;) and when we stop fighting we surrender to the enemy and acquiesce to mediocrity. If we want our children, ourselves, our world to be better we must be willing to face conflict/fear/doubt and accept discipline with humility of heart and strive for what is best and noble and good. I want what is best for Jax, so we will fight and he will know that he is worth the struggle.

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